Father and Husband

about this episode

“My friends said, 'You're crazy, enjoy single life.' But that's not for me.” - Kurt Warner

episode transcribed

Todd Burnham 0:00
Hi, this is Todd Burnham. I am a licensed practicing attorney. But just because you're listening to me doesn't mean that I represent you. This is for informational purposes only if you're good with that, then let's roll.

Chris Braden 0:23
What do you do when you move to a new state during a recession with no contacts, no job, no money, little experience and a family to support you lean on what you know, you continue to learn grind every day and you keep getting better join Todd Burnham as he outlines how he started, Burnham Law in his basement grew to seven offices relying only on his experiences and inspirations from being a college athlete. His unique style of motivation and raw sense of humor are a welcome change from the business advice you're used to hearing. Whether you're a new or seasoned attorney, trying to grow your practice or an entrepreneur in any service industry, Todd's story is sure to inspire you to take action and follow your instincts. This is Deep Bench with Todd Burnham. Hey, Todd, how you doing, buddy?

Todd Burnham 1:12
I'm great, man. How are you?

Chris Braden 1:14
I am doing awesome. So we're on family, father, husband. And we've talked about how amazing your mom was?

Todd Burnham 1:22

Chris Braden 1:23
How your wife kind of saved you, you've got a bunch of amazing kids. I think really, what I want to know is how has being a father and a husband kind of changed your outlook and how you handle business in a different way than you would have normally before all that.

Todd Burnham 1:40
Wow. So you know, I said before in the last episode that we talked about being a coach and a general manager. And to get to that point, you got to get your mind right. And then it's we'll talk next episode about the sense of urgency, which I also like to refer to as a healthy impatience.

Chris Braden 1:58
That was eloquently said.

Todd Burnham 2:00
Do you like that?

Chris Braden 2:00
Yeah, dude that was good. You're a wordsmith.

Todd Burnham 2:02
Yeah thanks, man. And so the, you know, I work for the people here, that's my job as I work for them. But I live for my family. And it begins and ends with just my wife, boo. I mean, I think about this a lot. Imagine living with someone that is kind of more and more sounding like Tony Robbins. I mean, that would be kind of exhausting. And, and my wife, thankfully, Katie is is someone that is really all about growth, expanding her her mindset, her belief system. And when you have a partner like that, it's so much easier to come home, and not be so insistent on being perfect at things. And when you have that I'm lucky that I'm in love with my best friend who also makes me better.

Chris Braden 2:49

Todd Burnham 2:49
And so that's, that's the best compliment I could ever give my wife, and then secondarily to that. And equally important, is that I want to be the best person I can be, and show my children as I get older and wiser and learn that I'm fallible, and that I want you to grow in this world and not necessarily just always be told what to do. And that requires you to think and think differently and believe in yourself and all those things combined. It's not Tony Robbins at home. It's attraction rather than promotion, rather than just promoting and saying we're going to do this, it's how does that make you feel? You know, it's like I'm trying to raise just smart, confident, compassionate human beings.

Chris Braden 3:36
I think at home, especially with kids and my wife, where you're out in the business in the business world, you're leading with headfirst.

Todd Burnham 3:46

Chris Braden 3:47
I think at home, I think it's really important to lead with, with love and heart first.

Todd Burnham 3:52
Oh, yeah. I mean, and that's really Katie, this is someone I'll come home to when it's like, okay, yeah. All right, your mind, right. You know, I gotta get my mind, right, because I'm not coming home and saying, Whoa, wait a second, I see that this wasn't done, you know, or something like that. Because I'm not. It's a healthy obsession. Sure what I have here and at the same time, it's a ever evolving growing thing at home with human beings that are learning how to express themselves and learn what love is and what partnership means. And that's my purpose in life is to really be a good husband and good dad and I. It's a process just like for everybody, but I think my mind's right. And having that at home, reminding me why I'm doing what I'm doing keeps me extremely motivated and focused, to be the best I can be a being a good coach, being a good general manager at being a good everything. Because in the end, I want my children to see what hard work resulted.

Chris Braden 4:53
Sure. And I think really, when you're a parent, how important is it for you now that you're not doing stuff by yourself, you're doing it for the greater good of the family. How important is it to you that you're you leave something for your kids not not a monetary legacy, but a legacy of a well done job not only as a father, but as a human being?

Todd Burnham 5:16
Years ago, I saw this. It was like a snippet from a gentleman who was a professor at a college and he was dying of cancer. And it was called The Last Lecture.

Chris Braden 5:28
I've seen that.

Todd Burnham 5:29
Inspiring. And in the end, he kind of gave us like, hey, and I tricked you again. Because this is my legacy. I'm more and more and we talked about sense of urgency, I'm more and more aware, especially after Kobe Bryant's death, that we are here for a very short time, you know, such a long, long time to be gone, and a short time to be there. Grateful Dead. That's really Jerry, and I don't want to miss a thing. And I'm more and more aware of it. As I get older, that this podcast, you know, this is an opportunity for my kids when I'm gone to remember who I was, you know, so that's critical to me.

Chris Braden 6:06
I'm glad you brought up the podcast, because your wife is such a big part of everything you do. What does she think about it? Like, how does she think about this process you've gone through?

Todd Burnham 6:16
She loves this, she thinks it's a great idea. Because in the beginning, it's like, I know that we are the best at this. And how do I know tell people with authority that this is what we are, and you should trust me? And she's like, I said, honey, no one's no one's doing a podcast, right?

Chris Braden 6:33
Great idea.

Todd Burnham 6:34
You know, I'm like, Yeah, but wait, you know, that's kind of scary. It's like, No, it's not.

Chris Braden 6:38

Todd Burnham 6:38
You know, you are who you are. So she supports and at the same time, it makes me think differently about things. I'll come home and like, I know that this is what's happening here. And she's like, yeah, no, that's a terrible idea.

Chris Braden 6:51
Like what?

Todd Burnham 6:52
Like Scooby Doo. Right? You know, and, and I listen, and inevitably, that side of it usually wins out. And she's right, because she's an objective listener, an objective person, to certain situations.

Chris Braden 7:06

Todd Burnham 7:07
She's she's doing the thing that I need her to be, which is critical and objective in a way that still supports as important. Isn't that what we're trying to do every day? And she, you know, she ran a business before she knows me. She knows how to, you know, communicate with me that? Yes Todd, that's a good idea, however.

Chris Braden 7:27

Todd Burnham 7:28
Without using the word but, you know, still do stuff like that. And however, yeah. In addition, so I think that's, you know, I'm just very lucky with in that respect.

Chris Braden 7:38
Isn't it funny how when they call you on your BS or challenge on something? Yeah, they're always right.

Todd Burnham 7:43
Yeah, and it kind of pisses me off.

Chris Braden 7:46
It's hard, right?

Todd Burnham 7:46
Oh, yeah. Like, wait a second. Don't you know what I'm doing here? And one of the things that I think of a lot is, you know, she started turning me on to like the Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz like these books about, it's just about getting your mind right. You know, the law of attraction, Abraham Hicks thinking Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill, they're all saying the same thing. And so it's easy in the beginning, for me, it was easy in the beginning for me said, I'm so worn out, I'm overwhelmed. I'm this or I'm that, which is just me just mentally, almost quitting. I'm just giving myself excuses. No one can handle this stress. Yeah, you can. You absolutely can, because you can get your mind right. And if you're stressed that much, then change something else. Because the stress isn't going to go away the way that you deal with it. That's the thing that can change. That's like that lemonade stuff. So you've got lemons is the mind and the attitude that the defeatist mentality that this is why people have heart attacks. It is it is but maybe it's because they I think that I have a lot of weight on my shoulders. I think I have broad shoulders. I think I can handle it and I am handling it and but you have someone that you're close to that is going to remind you that you can do it. I think that's that's a great coach.

Chris Braden 9:02
So we talked about your mom early on in the podcast. She saved you from a knife attack.

Todd Burnham 9:07
Yeah she did.

Chris Braden 9:07
By moving you.

Todd Burnham 9:08
Yes, she did.

Chris Braden 9:09
What'd she think about the podcast?

Todd Burnham 9:11
Oh, man, I another reason to do a podcast thing was listening is to let your your parents or your mom or dad know how much you love them.

Chris Braden 9:18

Todd Burnham 9:19
And, and you know, growing up with a single mom, it's it's not it wasn't always the easiest thing and an only child. It's not the easiest thing to tell your mom all the time how much you appreciate her how much you love her how much you respect her and by the way, you were right. When I do get older, I'll understand like, all that stuff. So that's been really rewarding for me because she I think half the listeners are probably the people that she sent the podcast episodes to, you know? And she's you know, she's certainly proud and that is a you know, from where I came from with her and the struggles that we had and growing and learning together, for her to be proud of me is that's kind of like one of those bucket list things for me.

Chris Braden 9:58
But I guess the last thing I want to ask you You just brought it up coming from a single mom home. You were an only child. Now you have a family with a lot of kids. How have you changed from that guy that was with the single mom kind of self driven? You know, you talked about in lacrosse it You didn't three years, but it took people 10 years to do.

Todd Burnham 10:20

Chris Braden 10:20
How did your mindset change from that moment? Now that you have the family?

Todd Burnham 10:25
I just became man. You know?

Chris Braden 10:27
That's a good way to put it.

Todd Burnham 10:29
Yeah, I mean, I just at some point you, you grow up, you get mature, constantly grow. And the thing especially with being here, and going home, and knowing where you came from is humility, humble, but hungry. I think that comes through experience. It's nice when you get that first award. And these testimonials are your 10.0 Avvo rated, and any like, wow, I've gotten there and look at how far I've come and look at how far I have yet to go. And it's been that kind of mindset, I think comes with age.

Chris Braden 11:04
Anything else you want to say about the family any message you want to give to your wife, mom?

Todd Burnham 11:09
Man, put everybody! I've got a little boy, I got three boys. I've got the 20 the 15 and the three year old I love them. And and I can't wait to watch especially little one grow. But this really these podcasts are for me and Clara. I like get emotional when I think about how much I love them. And I just want I always want to be the best man that I can be by attraction and not promotion. And then even like I started thinking about that, like this morning, Clara. You know, she's a perfectionist. She's usually running late. And it's like, come on Clara. And she's like I am you know, she's just a mirror of me, right? And Katie's like, I'm like, we can't be late to again to school. Like, you guys are up an hour and a half ago. And Katy to because she's awesome. She's like, Hey, honey, this morning is just not one of those mornings, you're not gonna get there on time. And after that it was, you know, seeing my daughter, either one of them just upset in any way that I'm like, I'm growing still.

Chris Braden 12:12

Todd Burnham 12:13
You know? And so, growth happens every day. But the love that I have for those two girls, especially as a man raising two girls, is the reason why I do what I do.

Chris Braden 12:27
Good stuff, man.

Todd Burnham 12:28
Alright, catch you later. Hey, thanks for listening. Make sure you subscribe and until next time, keep getting better.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai